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Simple Answers

9 Comments and 33 Shares
'Will [     ] allow us to better understand each other and thus make war undesirable?' is one that pops up whenever we invent a new communication medium.
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pascalhos
3064 days ago
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JavaJim
3113 days ago
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At last the answers we've been looking for
aaronwe
3113 days ago
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See also: Bettridge's Law of Headlines.
Denver
iaravps
3113 days ago
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Simple answers to the questions asked about every new technology
Rio de Janeiro, Brasil
adamgurri
3114 days ago
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The complete list.
New York, NY
Michdevilish
3114 days ago
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So much boxed emptiness.
Canada
CanSpice
3114 days ago
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"Lamestream". So edgy.
Canada
traggett
3114 days ago
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Alt / Title: 'Will [ ] allow us to better understand each other and thus make war undesirable?' is one that pops up whenever we invent a new communication medium.
Hong Kong
bronzehedwick
3114 days ago
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This is pretty awesome.
Jersey City, NJ
eraycollins
3114 days ago
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You could hand this out as a press release. The lamestream media is THAT predictable.
tjgrathwell
3114 days ago
Does Newsblur have one of those thumbs down buttons? Because I can't reasonably let someone get away with saying the word "lamestream".
infogulch
3114 days ago
Agree about "lamestream" but the bit about press releases is genius.
glenn
3114 days ago
Using Randall's substitutions idea, just think of it as the llamastream media
eraycollins
3114 days ago
I am open to suggestions for alternatives to "lamestream."
denismm
3114 days ago
"Massinine media"?
eraycollins
3113 days ago
LIKE massinine.

November 12, 2013

2 Comments and 15 Shares

Last day to get the new poster!
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pascalhos
3064 days ago
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satadru
3111 days ago
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#parenting
New York, NY
jstone13zero
3113 days ago
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How NOT to parent =p

Death Metal English

jwz
3 Comments and 17 Shares
Adjectives: In Death Metal English, they're like guitar solos. You aren't using enough. Add more.

My favorite thing about Death Metal English is that it isn't subject matter-specific. Of course, it works best when you're talking about Satan, or Lovecraft, or murder or whatever. But you can turn pretty much any phrase or sentence into fodder for a sick death metal song using the same tropes:

Normal English: "Commuting to work"
Death Metal English: "TRANSPORTATION OF THE WAGEBOUND UNTO THE NEXUS OF PERPETUAL QUOTIDIAN ENSLAVEMENT"

Normal English: "This bok choy isn't very good"
Death Metal English: "CASTIGATING THE VERDANT ISSUANCE OF THE SOILS OF JIANGNAN"

Normal English: "I need to take a nap"
Death Metal English: "RIPPED INTO THE UTTER EXHAUSTION OF THE MIDDLE DAY"

Normal English: "Thanks for explaining the train schedule"
Death Metal English: "PROFFERING GRATITUDE UPON THE CHRONOCRATION OF THE JUGGERNAUTS OF RETICULATED METALS AND FIRE"

Normal English: "You have to mow the lawn"
Death Metal English: "BRING DOWN THE SCYTHE OF GODS UPON THE NECKS OF THE GREEN-RIBBED LEGIONS AND SWEEP AWAY THEIR WRETCHED BODIES; THOU ART IMPLORED BY ME"

Previously, previously.

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pascalhos
3064 days ago
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synapsecracklepop
3091 days ago
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Is anybody tweeting these yet, in the vein of @jennyholzermom? I'd pay to read them.
ATL again
steingart
3091 days ago
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The gif alone makes it
Princeton, NJ
cinebot
3091 days ago
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okay i laughed, pretty hard.
toronto.

Soccer fans kill and quarter referee in Brazil

1 Comment and 2 Shares

Police say enraged spectators invaded a football field, stoned the referee to death and quartered his body after he stabbed a player to death.

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pascalhos
3241 days ago
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dreadhead
3241 days ago
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This whole thing sounds crazy.
Vancouver Island, Canada